Practice. Observe. Repeat.

One day, in the middle of some gruesome leg extensions, my trainer said to me “Come on Tony, learn to enjoy the effort.” He may as well have been speaking Martian. The concept of enjoying any effort had been foreign to me up to that point. Ever since, I’ve been practicing the enjoyment of physical exertion. Not easy.

So these days I’m focused on teaching people to have some kind of self-care practice. Because it’s a good thing to teach what you most need to learn. All practice is an observance. You make an intention to do something helpful for yourself, and you observe yourself in the actions of doing the things you said you would do.

Do you want to enjoy your life more? Do at least three of these things every day. You can change them up every day if you want. At the end of the day, just sit with the enjoyment of the effort, no matter how small that effort may be. Here goes.

1. Exercise: Anything that makes you exert yourself out of your normal pattern of movement. That’s anything. Take the stairs instead? There. You just exercised.
2. Stretching: You’ve seen cats, right? Anything that looks like what they do, (except that between the legs thing we only wish we could do.)
3. Hug: Get and give at least one hug a day, and not a ‘grandma hug’ either. If you have to call up a friend and visit him/her on your way home from work for a hug, do it.
4. Writing: Make a journal entry, write a poem, a thought on a napkin, a love letter.
5. Reading: Preferably for enjoyment, amusement or inspiration.
6. Mind Clearing: When the light turns red, see if you can clear your mind of any thoughts until it turns green. Stare at the red light. Just breathe and clear.
7. Deep Breath: A good time for a deep breath is either before you pick up the phone or after you’ve hung up. There are many other opportunities too. Just breathe.
8. Say “I love you” to someone. I don’t care if it’s the janitor, it’s your practice.
9. De-clutter: That pile of whatever that’s been laying on the whatchamacallit? You’ll have a momentary feeling of lightness. See ‘Deep Breath.’
10. Notice nature: Weed your yard. When you walk to your car, force yourself to see aspects of nature you don’t normally notice: ants, the sky, puddles, birds, squirrels.

Do any three actions per day for a month. Notice the effort, and learn to enjoy the effort it takes to set an intention and observe yourself doing your practice. It may be helpful to take your practice on quietly without fanfare, to yourself or others. Be steady and deliberate, and you’ll see the fruits gradually emerge.

Many of us were taught that practice makes perfect. Why would I recommend that your practice practicing? Because I’ve learned the point is not perfection, but staying conscious to the effort. Have fun!

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Anthony Quaglieri, Ph.D., is a licensed mental health counselor in Tampa, click here to visit his recently launched web site.

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