‘The Long Day’s Journey into Pride’

by Anthony Quaglieri, Ph.D.

I have a running joke with my friend Shawn about Christmas, that comes out of my cynicism about that holiday. For fun, I say that it’s always Christmas except on the actual day of December 25, which is essentially the day that Christmas is over. All the stores are closed, and everyone is relieved to be done with it. I know, it’s pretty twisted. But in my mind, we are preparing for the Christmas trauma during the other 364 days of the year. We’re trying to get over the last one, and preparing for the next one, at the same time. I told you it was cynical. But hey, it’s my grandiose brand of ‘bah, humbug.’

So, jumping off that peculiar platform, I’d like to talk about summer, which is here officially on June 21st at 5:46 am. This is the moment of the solstice. Without going all astronomical on you, this is the longest day of the year, the northern hemisphere is tilted its maximum to the sun, and we get tons of sunlight. Ironically, and I think, exquisitely, the solstice is also the moment when the tilt of the planet actually stands still for a moment before it starts to reverse, and each day becomes shorter after June 21st until the shortest day of the year, December 21st.

Being a shrink, I get to look for meaning in everything. However, I didn’t make up most of the stuff I’m now going to tell you. You are allowed, nonetheless, to think I’m brilliant for what I do with it. Many indigenous cultures, and in European pagan (omg!) traditions, the 2 solstices and the 2 equinoxes are important times to take stock of where you are in your life, and where you are going.

These four days (around the 21st of April, June, September, and December) are the beginnings or endings of an agricultural season, and point to certain actions which MUST be taken to sustain us with food and water. They are also handy punctuations to the year, equally spaced. The Winter Solstice celebrates gifts of the darkness and the coming of the light; the Summer Solstice celebrates the abundance of light and heat and the prep for advancing darkness; and each equinox calls us to think about how we must balance the light and dark in our lives.

Would you like to know more? Think about June 21st being the longest day of the year. You think of the beach, you think of the searing disgusting obstructive oppressive heat we have to endure for 8 months in this swamp of a state, you think about Pride, you think about your summer vacation, you think about being lazy. As summer winds down, many people feel melancholy about summer being over. We know as we go into fall, the days get darker, and we move toward ‘harvesting’ busier, shorter days (and eventually the Christmas trauma.)

On a deeper level, and where I’m going in this article, symbolically, there’s a lot of light available, so it’s time to think about where you want to shine the light. After June 21st we will have progressively less light each day until December 21st.

I don’t think it’s a mistake that Stonewall (and subsequently Pride celebrations) happened near the summer solstice. Let’s all come out in the light of day and be seen by everybody. Let’s get out of the dark bars and the skanky baths and bookstores, and out from behind our computer chat rooms and be seen sweating on the streets of St. Petersburg, New York, San Francisco, Seattle, Atlanta, and the world.

There is much to be discovered in the dark, and the light in your life has to be directed consciously in order to discern what needs to be seen, brought forth, harvested for fall, stored for winter. There are psychological and emotional treasures to be discovered if you seize on the light in your life and take the time to face the scary parts of the dark places.
What part of your life needs LIGHT? What needs to be looked at in the open? What needs to come out into the sunlight and be seen? What feelings, desires, risk and passions have been sitting in the dark inside of you, needing a little light to push through? As I tell my clients: think about these things.

Here’s my message: This summer, take stock of the ways you are coming out. Not just about your sexuality, but the ways you feel free to be yourself. Take stock of the growing edge of your honesty, your willingness to ask for help, your desire to be seen and known, your desire to be close and intimate, your willingness to be vulnerable and take risks. This summer, come out into the light in ways that enhance what you are about and where you want to go. Do something out in the open that is new behavior. Use the extra heat to cook something up that’s brand new and maybe even creative. Outings & Adventures provides many opportunities for doing things that are novel and different. Use O&A to get it done.

It’s time. On June 22nd, there is less and less light. On December 21st, we’ll be sitting in the dark enjoying the silence there (and humming those awful songs!)

One suggestion about how to celebrate the Solstice, go to Pride and be outrageous. That doesn’t mean to act out, it means to be the gayest you that you are willing to be.

Lastly, enjoy your summer. Celebrate the sun in your life and the things within you that are ripening or even cooking.

Share on Facebook

Dr. Anthony Quaglieri is a psychotherapist and body/mind educator in private practice in Tampa.

Get in on the fun, be in the know and receive O&A Event Update. Enter email address at top of screen.

rate this column…nail on the head?